The Quiet

So far, in my whole seven months of momhood, I've learned that it's not exactly the crying and screaming you should be terrified of--it's The Quiet. I'm sure The Quiet only gets worse as he gets older, but right now, The Quiet is what I fear.

The Quiet happens immediately following something shocking and painful. The Quiet is the stage between the event and the poo hitting the fan. Say, for example, if Little Boy has fallen off the bed--not that that has ever happened, no siree Bob. Here is a rundown of what it might have sounded like, if it had happened: *thud*...The Quiet...ASGVLIGJATUQWOTUQJAFLDJASJERTQLSFAAEJFG09AS8GU03JQKZ!!!!!!

The Quiet is also a signal that he has found something extremely intriguing and should probably keep it on the down-low. Say, for example, Mommy's textbook with lots of pages to rip or an electrical cord or outlet. When the babbling and grunting stop, I get worried.

I can hardly wait for Little Boy to get a little bit less little, when The "Nothing" happens...
as in, "What are you up to, Handsome?"
"...Nothing"
*flushes jewelry down the toilet*