Whoooaa

Oh yes, it's time for a bullet-post.

• I'm sick. Hudson's sick too, but more in the pukey sort of way than the freakin'-nose-won't-unstuff way that I am.
  
• Grandma and Grandpa are in town. They have my sick little boy at a hotel. I'm supposed to be partying--currently sitting at home, alone, watching Juno with 50+ rainbow layered Jell-O shots in the fridge. Clearly, sitting on the couch with a box of tissues and an extra large Gatorade at 10:30 is the cool way to party.
  
• We went out to eat tonight. Too bad I couldn't taste a darn thing. I'm betting it was good.
  
• My car, after being wonderfully repaired over winter break, now has another owie. Some truck-driving boy ran into the side of Boxy. He used the classic, "the sun was in my eyes" excuse. Hudson wasn't with, and I'm a-okay. Thanks for your concern.

***

• The above was from Friday, when my cold was a lot worse. I'm happy to say it's improving and I feel slightly less like dying. Not much. I thought Hud was improving as well, however, poor baby barfed allll ovverrr my bed when we were playing tonight. Mattress is soaked. He went straight into the bath and the sheets, pillowcases, clothes, etc. went into the wash. I hate barf.
• In other news, but still a part of this completely random post, my womb is now home to a copper-wrapped plastic T known as Paragard. It means no babies for 10 years if I don't want one. And I don't...at the moment. I don't have to worry about daily, weekly, monthly, etc. birth control. This sucker runs on a decade schedule. Insertion wasn't fun, but it wasn't horrendous either. It has few side effects and it won't interfere with breastfeeding. It's also the most cost effective form of birth control if you keep it in for two years.
• Thing is, I was and am on the most effective, cost effective birth control plan--abstinence. Woo hoo!
• Everyone is sick. I'm talkin' everyone. My boss asked me if he had been snoring today, since his cold meds were making him drowsy. He also asked me to alert him if he became unconscious while walking. He did just fine, thank goodness. Roomie Val has been perpetually sick since winter break. Student teaching will do that to you, I hear.
• Speaking of breaks, I can't wait to spend spring break at the all-inclusive resort known as Chateau de Parents. Free room and board, and I can tan. Babysitting is provided, on occasion, with a little sweet-talking.
• I love libraries. I especially love viewing the online card catalogs and the reserve feature at some places. It's like free online shopping for books. Try it.
• Find me a job.

End crazy post.

Hanky-Panky

I'm sick. Hudson's still a little sick. The worst part of being sick? Runny/stuffy/achy nose. It's especially tormenting for me since my eco-conscience beats me up every time I use a tissue.

Yes, I have tremendous eco-guilt. I've considered switching to a cool fabric hanky (handkerchief), but I just can't figure out a way to use it more than once without getting snot ev-er-y-where. My dad evidently can. My grandpas could. Why can't I? What's the secret? I wouldn't even care if people thought I was totally weird or gross using one, as long as I didn't have cold slimy snot all over. And what happens to the inside of your pocket? Snot city, I assume.

I want to be a hanky user, I do. But until I figure this out--I'm sorry, Mother Nature. Pass the tissue.

It's about time...

...that Hudson started helping with the housework! He particularly enjoys laundry duty.

{ I was going to save these for next week's FPF, but you deserve a treat on Valentine's Day! }

{ Fresh Photo Friday }

Hudson's first big boy bath

Christmas has Bah-Humbug; what does Valentine's Day have?

This morning I found a note in Hudson's daycare mailbox with a list of the names of his "daycare mates." When it was time for me to pick him up, he had a cute little paper bag with hearts next to his coat hook. When I went to sign him out, there was a sign: "There is a list of names in your child's mailbox, please bring Valentines for your child's classmates!"

Sooo...Valentine's Day is Saturday...tomorrow is Friday...that means...

I'm supposed to whip up some Valentines...tonight.

Frack.

This is a university daycare, meaning the majority of moms that use the daycare are full-time students--with lots and lots of college homework. Translation: GIVE ME MORE THAN ONE NIGHT TO PREPARE VALENTINES!

I took advantage of Hudson/Val bonding time and churned out a very basic design for Hudson's treats. A few clicks, printing on cardstock, cutting with scalloped scissors, glue-dotting to a peanut butter cup packet and voila! Hudson's very first Valentine for kids who don't eat solid food and couldn't care less if there are meaningless cards in a sack for them:

...but wait, what does that say? Here, let me show you the design.

Happy Valentine's Day, kiddos!

Starr Velvetthong. Doesn't that have a nice ring to it?

What is it about salespeople that make it hard for me to say no? What is it about me that makes it hard for me to say no? For some reason, I want this complete, fake stranger to like me, and I want her to get a paycheck...so she can buy more makeup to cake on her face and tell me that I look like hell.

I would be a terrrrible salesperson. I'm just an all-round weakling when it comes to sales. I don't have the personality traits that would enable me to persuade anyone to do anything. My sales pitch would sound something like this: "Here's this nifty product. I know it's not what you need and it's overpriced, but if you could just try it out for like, two minutes, maybe even just one, that would be okay...
You're right, it is stupid. Sorry to bother you..."

I'll tell you where I'm coming from. Saturday, my ex-roomie, Hudson and I took a trip to the city. Since my main destination was closed, we perused the rest of the area. Christine talked me into letting a semi-charismatic saleschica use bacteria-infested, unsanitized brushes to "buff" mineral makeup all over my un-prettified face. Then I spent way too much money to buy said mineral makeup with fresh brushes. Hudson laughed at me. I wasn't even all that impressed with the makeup--I still looked like a 21-year-old mom with no sleep and a bad SmartStyle haircut.
In short, I have buyer's remorse.

My mom convinced me to keep it, rather than drive the two-hour, $7 (as I calculated) round-trip to return it. Mom pointed out that I would want it for job hunting in May...and June, July, August, September, November, etc. I told her she was right, strip clubs love a pretty face. I'm sure that will be the only type of place hiring. There's always an adult entertainment business, right? And since the makeup kit came with two tubs of foundation, I could use the one whole tub to mask my post-baby bod.

Moral of the story: I think I'll stick to online shopping, where I run the show and don't have to think about what my stripper name would be.

{No, I definitely would not ever seriously think about becoming a stripper. My success in that industry would come from people paying me to put my clothes back on. }

Here's where I got my stripper name.

The Story of J

So J is our new roommate, and I brought her on the scene without asking the other two roommates. I think it will work out regardless.
You see, J was in a poor position. She was closeted with her friends, and even though she's a beauty, she was deemed no longer useful to the general public. J was destined for a life on the streets, but I changed all that.
Facing extreme discrimination due to her amputee status (missing her left arm), J was told she was no longer welcome back home. So, despite my own intense embarrassment and physical injury (I cut the back of my heel open on the door), I took J home, and here she is. I have even had to loan her some of my clothes. Poor thing.
With some TLC, J will once again be a productive member of society--even if she turns out to be a homebody. She will have a purpose, and that purpose will be more honorable and way more earth-friendly than where, sadly, a few of her friends are going to end up.
To see a photo of J, click here.

P.S. Hudson is fascinated with J, he digs her. I think the feeling is mutual, but it's hard to tell.

Just watch this!

(sorry about the advertisement at the beginning--it's worth sitting through, however)

We call her "J"

This is our new roommate. She's an amputee. Don't ask. I'll tell you later.